posted 18th November 2025
“We cannot get him out of bed anymore.”
That is what families often tell us, and it is one of the hardest things to admit. They have tried everything: persuasion, reminders, frustration, guilt.
When dementia takes hold, what looks like “stubbornness” is often confusion, fear, or simply waking at a different rhythm to everyone else.
Not everyone is a morning person. If someone tried to wake you before you were ready, you would be annoyed as well. It is not aggression. It is just being human.
That is why good dementia care cannot be about what suits the care agency. It has to be about what suits the person.
When routine needs to fit the person
Routines are vital for people living with dementia. They create familiarity and comfort.
The key is having the right routine.
For some, that means breakfast at seven in the morning and bed by nine at night. For others, it means easing into the day at their own pace.
Trying to force someone into a schedule that does not fit how they naturally live will only cause distress.
True person centred care means adjusting the timing, tone, and approach to meet the person where they are, not where a rota says they should be.
Ken’s story
Ken was a proud, clever man. He was a former business owner who had always been sharply dressed and self reliant.
Dementia had quietly changed things.
By the time we were called, Ken was living alone. The agency visiting each morning said he refused to get out of bed, so they left his breakfast and went.
His neighbours had started to worry. The once immaculate home was cluttered, meals were uneaten, and Ken was spending whole days in bed, withdrawn and unwashed.
When we met him, we realised straight away it was not defiance. It was timing.
The agency arrived at seven in the morning, which was far too early for someone whose internal clock had shifted.
We visited later, around nine.
If Ken was still dozing, we did not rush him. We opened the curtains a little to let in daylight, put the kettle on, and chatted softly while he woke up.
“Good morning, Ken. How are you feeling today?”
By the time he had finished his tea, he was smiling and ready to get started. With gentle encouragement, he washed, shaved, and chose his usual shirt, tie, and jacket. He was proud once again of how he looked.
For many people, this kind of gentle support with washing and dressing is what keeps personal care dignified.
Before long, his neighbours were commenting on how wonderful it was to see him “back to his old self”.
The difference was not in the tasks. It was in the understanding.
What real dementia support looks like
We do not force. We do not rush. We do not treat people like tasks to be ticked off.
We take the time to understand why something is happening and adapt calmly, because real dementia care is about restoring dignity, not control.
Our carers:
- Work around the person’s natural rhythm and preferences
- Build calm, consistent routines that feel familiar
- Encourage confidence through patience and trust
- Keep families informed with gentle, honest feedback
- Notice subtle changes that others might overlook
Sometimes families start with a little Help at Home to take the pressure off, then build from there as everyone feels more confident.
When care fits the person, not the paperwork, everything changes.
Why families choose Your Care
- Trained carers who truly understand dementia. We adapt to the person, not the agency timetable.
- Respectful, gentle routines. Structure that feels natural and safe.
- Consistent faces. People your loved one recognises and trusts.
- Calm communication. Every visit led with warmth and empathy.
Our Visiting Care service means we come to you, at times that actually work for your family.
When someone feels respected and understood, they respond.
Ready when you are
If someone you love is starting to resist care, stay in bed, or withdraw from life, please do not lose hope.
They do not need firmer words or stricter schedules. They need someone who knows how to reach them again.
Visit our Dementia Care page or call for a friendly, no pressure chat.
Because the right care does not push. It understands.
