posted 17th November 2025
When caring becomes too much
Dawn had always been the strong one.
She worked part-time, looked after her teenage son, and popped in to see her mum, Evelyn, every day. At first it was just “helping out” – a bit of shopping, putting a wash on, sorting the post.
But over time, the “little jobs” grew. She started managing medication, cooking extra meals, chasing appointments, and staying late when her mum seemed more confused. By the time she got home, it was dark, and her own dinner was still in the freezer.
When friends asked how she was, she smiled and said, “I’m fine. Just tired.”
What she really meant was, “I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”
What family carer burnout really looks like
Family carers rarely call it “burnout”. They just say they are “a bit worn out” or “not sleeping well”.
Burnout can look like:
• Snapping at loved ones over small things
• Forgetting appointments or misplacing important paperwork
• Feeling guilty whenever you sit down or take a break
• Waking in the night worrying about what you have forgotten
• Feeling tearful, resentful, or numb
Most families do not suddenly reach breaking point. It creeps in quietly, one extra task at a time, until life feels like a list you can never finish.
The truth is, caring alone is a full-time job on top of everything else. No one is meant to carry it all.
Why asking for “just a bit of help” can change everything
Many families tell us, “We are not ready for care – we just need a bit of help at home.”
What they often discover is that “a bit of help” is exactly what stops everything from unravelling.
A carer can:
• Take over the jobs that drain your time and energy – the washing, the hoovering, the endless dishes
• Keep an experienced eye on your loved one’s mood, appetite, and mobility
• Notice quiet changes early, before they turn into a crisis
• Bring calm, conversation, and routine into the home
It is not about handing everything over. It is about sharing the load so you can breathe again.
Dawn and Evelyn’s story
By the time Dawn rang Your Care, she was at the point of thinking about giving up work. She loved her mum, but she was exhausted, and the guilt was starting to swallow her whole.
We started with two visits a week – just Help at Home.
On paper, it looked simple: light housework, a bit of laundry, and help with meals. But what Dawn noticed first was not the clean kitchen. It was the quiet.
Our carer, Sarah, took time to chat with Evelyn while she worked. She noticed that Evelyn was more steady on her feet after a gentle walk around the garden, so she built that into each visit. She spotted that Evelyn was struggling with buttons, so she suggested easier clothing to reduce frustration.
One afternoon, Sarah realised Evelyn was more forgetful than usual and seemed unusually tired. She gently mentioned it to Dawn, who arranged a GP check. It turned out Evelyn had a simple infection that could have become serious if left unnoticed.
“It is not just the practical help,” Dawn told us later. “It is knowing someone else is watching out for Mum when I can’t be there. I can go to work and actually concentrate, instead of checking my phone every five minutes.”
The house was tidier. Evelyn was calmer. But the biggest change was Dawn. She started laughing again.
How help at home protects both you and your loved one
Burnout does not just affect the family carer. When you are exhausted, it is harder to be patient, to spot changes, and to make good decisions.
Bringing in help at home can:
• Keep your loved one safer
Trained carers notice small changes in walking, eating, or mood that might signal a problem. Early action can prevent falls, infections, and hospital stays.
• Preserve your relationship
When you are not doing everything, you have more space to simply be a daughter, son, partner, or friend again – not just the organiser and problem-solver.
• Delay more intensive care
Regular, gentle support at home can help your loved one stay independent for longer, reducing the need for urgent, high-cost care later on.
• Support your own health
Rest is not a luxury. It is what allows you to keep showing up with kindness, instead of running on empty.
You do not have to wait until you are at breaking point. Small, steady support now can make a huge difference later.
What Help at Home with Your Care can include
Every family is different, but Help at Home often covers:
• Light housekeeping and laundry
• Shopping, meal preparation, and checking food is fresh and eaten
• Support with safe movement around the home
• Gentle prompts with medication and routines
• Companionship, conversation, and reassurance
Behind all of this is a trained, consistent carer who gets to know your loved one – and you. Someone who understands dementia, ageing, and the quiet ways people show they are struggling.
It is not just about what we do. It is about what we notice, and how that helps you feel less alone.
You are not failing by asking for help
Many family carers tell us they feel they “should” be able to manage on their own. They worry that bringing in help means they are letting their loved one down.
The truth is the opposite.
Asking for help is often the most loving thing you can do. It means your loved one gets more support, not less. It means you can be present, patient, and kind, instead of stretched to breaking point.
You are not meant to do this alone. And you do not have to.
Ready when you are
If you are starting to feel that caring is “just a bit too much” – or you can see someone you love heading towards burnout – now is a good time to talk.
We can start small, with gentle Help at Home that fits around your life and your loved one’s routines. No pressure, no judgement, just a friendly chat about what would make things feel lighter.
You can:
• Read more about our Help at Home service
• Explore how visiting care works in Bristol and South Gloucestershire
• Find out how our dementia care supports people to stay at home safely
Because you deserve more than just getting through the day. You deserve space to breathe, and your loved one deserves calm, consistent support.
To talk things through, call Your Care on 0117 9477 422 for a friendly, no-pressure chat about Help at Home.
